Gratitude is in the air...
If you’re reading this, chances are you are experiencing a verydifficult time in your life. And, as someone who lives in that conflict every day, there is nothing that makes me feel better than reflecting on the things that I am thankful for. Here are my top three:
The opportunity to serve all of you through life’s darkermoments and to help you reach your next dawns.
Bluebird Law's new helper, Kirsten
Time to cherish my family and friends
While Thanksgiving may be over this week, I hope that we can all move through the rest of this season with more gratitude in our hearts and less resentment.
What are you thankful for?
Sincerely,
Shannon
Welcome, Kirsten!
Many of you have already met Bluebird Law's new helper, Kirsten Link. Kirsten comes to us from the mental health world ad her thoughtfulness and compassion shine through in everything she does.
Having known Kirsten for nearly twenty years, there is nobody I would trust more with my family and that is why I trust her with yours. While this may be only a step I Kirsten's journey, I am so grateful to have her with us for any part that she is willing to share. Like many of you, Kirsten is a parent and can appreciate what is at stake in your custody cases. In addition to her empathy for parents, she brings a fresh perspective from the mental health world.
While she will be helping on client cases, she is also an organizer extraordinaire and will be streamlining some of the messier processes regarding onboarding, payment, and establishing regular check-ins. Also note that Kirsten will only be "in" Mondays and Wednesdays, so please be sure to copy me on your emails to her.
FAQs: Coparenting Over the Holidays
The holidays can be one of the most difficult times for separated co-parents. Whether you are newly separated or have been for a while, I hope that these FAW may bring some clarity. And know that my heart goes out to you during this tough time. You will adjust to this new normal and you may even three with the extra time to focus on yourself. Note that this is generalized information, not legal advice. If you have a question about your case specifically, you should as me or another lawyer.
Q: Can I contact with my kid(s) during holidays when they’re with the other parent?
A: Unless your parenting plan or court order specifies that you may only have contact with your kid(s) during specific times when they are with the other parent, there is no reason why you shouldn’t have a phone or video call to wish your kid(s) a happy holiday. However, the best practice would be to plan a call with the other parent as far ahead of time as possible. Also, be mindful and respectful of the other parent’s holiday plans. Whatever you do, make sure that your kid doesn’t feel like it’s their responsibility to coordinate contact with you while they are with their other parent. Remember, you’ll see them during your parenting time and there is no limit to the number of celebrations you can have for the holiday. I’m sure you’ll find a way to make your holiday time special with your child whether it’s on the actual day or not.
Q: What can I do about family members on the other side who are saying bad things about me to my child(ren) during gatherings?
A: The short answer is there is likely nothing you can do about what other people say. Unfortunately, you don’t have control over what the other parent or their family members say to your child(ren) (even when it’s prohibited by the court orders). The best thing to combat whatever negative input your child(ren) may be receiving on the other side is to counteract it with love, support, and acceptance on yours. And, if you suspect emotional manipulation or coercion, therapeutic intervention may be necessary.
Q: Can I travel during my holiday parenting time?
A: If you have a court-ordered parenting plan and your parenting time or travel is not specifically restricted, you can travel during your holiday (or regular) parenting time, so long as you provide the specific notice and information to the other parent that is required by your parenting plan or court order. Remember, the other parent is not obligated to change their parenting time to accommodate your travel dates, so you should either stick to your plan or get an agreement to your travel dates in writing from the other parent. If you do not have a court-ordered parenting plan yet (i.e. your case is pre-decree), you should not travel out of state without the written approval of the other parent.
Resource of the Month: Google Scholar
Lawyers use fancy and expensive research software, but here’s a hack that anyone can use: Google Scholar. If you’re looking for a case that you think may be relevant to yours and you know the name of it, you can likely find it on Google Scholar. It doesn’t have the same features that allow you to check whether the case has been overturned or treated negatively like our legal research tools, but it’s free and a good place to start. Just be sure to switch from “articles” to “case law” and select “Colorado Courts” for family law cases.
Link: https://scholar.google.com/
Volunteer this Season
What better way to celebrate your blessings than by sharing them with others? Consider volunteering on your own or as a family this season with some of these local nonprofits:
Casa de Paz (helping newcomers):
https://www.casadepazcolorado.org/volunteer-with-us
Rose Anode Center (helping survivors of gender-based violence):
